Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
