OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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