And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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