his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
