Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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