I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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