Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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