It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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