When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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