No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
