im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
