god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
