8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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