Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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