You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
