Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize