Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
