all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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