Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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