Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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