My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
