so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
