i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
