god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
