I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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