If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
