Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Your mouth is God's brothel.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.