a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
