Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
