i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
