i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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