I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
