Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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