how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
