My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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