just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
