The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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