Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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