He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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