just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
