If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
