the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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