ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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