At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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