are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
