I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
