The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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