no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
