for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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