so explain again why im purple
no
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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