i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
