Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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