All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My boob is missing a layer of skin
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
