god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
