I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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