hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
