WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
