Little spoons don't ask big questions
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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